Nearly One-Third of Married Americans Report No Sexual Activity in Past Year, Expert Offers Strategies to Rebuild Intimacy

A significant portion of American married couples are experiencing periods without sexual contact, according to recent findings from the General Social Survey administered by NORC at the University of Chicago. The data reveals that 32.5% of married adults surveyed reported having no sexual activity over the previous year, while only 4.1% engage in sexual relations more than three times weekly. These figures underscore the prevalence of intimacy challenges among long-term partners.

Dr. Anna Elton, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist practicing in Massachusetts, defines a sexless marriage as occurring 10 or fewer times annually, noting that the typical frequency for married couples nationally averages approximately once per week. The decline in physical intimacy stems from multiple sources, ranging from the demands of managing busy households to physiological factors like hormonal shifts, though Elton emphasizes that diminished relationship passion often underlies the issue.

Elton, who authored “The Formula of Desire,” recommends beginning reconnection efforts by identifying relationship strengths rather than fixating on problems. She suggests couples dedicate one week to mentally cataloging positive aspects of their partnership and sharing these observations with one another, a practice she believes can fundamentally alter relationship dynamics by shifting conversational patterns away from logistics toward emotional substance.

Establishing a technology-free evening represents another practical approach Elton advocates for couples seeking renewed connection. She notes that while people readily allocate time to phone usage and social media, intentional partnership time frequently gets deprioritized, making deliberate scheduling essential for rekindling intimacy.

Missing fun ranks as the most common element couples identify as absent from their current relationships compared to their early years together, according to Elton’s clinical observations. She recommends A-to-Z date nights, where partners select activities beginning with different alphabet letters for each outing, such as axe-throwing, art galleries, or beach visits, to introduce novelty and restore desire.

Flirting represents another casualty of long-term relationships that couples can deliberately revive through creating fresh communication patterns around erotic intentions. Elton also highlights how aging, physical changes, and stress diminish self-desire, which can prevent partners from accepting intimacy advances, particularly among women struggling with self-perception.

Simple physical gestures like 20-second hugs or six-second kisses stimulate oxytocin production, the bonding hormone that strengthens emotional connection between partners. Complementary self-care practices such as skincare routines similarly enhance personal well-being and individual connection, ultimately supporting couple dynamics.