A Final Gift: How One Daughter Honored Her Parents’ Memory

Five years ago this week, a woman made what she believed would be her final visit to her parents’ burial site, six hours away from her home at the time. She arrived with silk flowers arranged into bouquets and favorite treats—popcorn and cheese cubes for her stepfather, Hershey bars for her mother—items she knew they could not physically enjoy but that held deep personal significance. The picnic on her car’s permanent quilt required an entire box of tissues, as she contemplated a goodbye she never expected to repeat.

Her stepfather Dean, known universally as Dad, had married her mother decades earlier after her biological father’s death during her childhood. He told her twice that he “got his daughter back” when he married her mother, a statement that moved her profoundly. Dad passed away in 1994 following a progressive illness, leaving behind memories of his quiet demeanor, mischievous humor, and practical jokes that defined his character.

At Dad’s 1994 funeral, the funeral home arrived late to the church visitation, having confused the service times. When the casket finally arrived and pallbearers attempted to carry it up narrow church stairs, one man became pinned between the casket and a corner wall in an awkward predicament. The scene descended into uncontrollable laughter among mourners—a moment she believed Dad himself would have orchestrated had he possessed the opportunity.

At the casket’s side, before saying her final goodbye, she retrieved scissors from her mother’s purse and cut a lock of her own hair. She tied it with a ribbon and tucked it into Dad’s starched shirt pocket, whispering that he had done an exceptional job as her father. She believes she witnessed a smile cross his lips in that final moment.

Her mother, Dorothy, worked as an Avon representative for the final 25 years of her life, retiring in spring 2005 at age 82 with her best sales year on record. The daughter purchased a lifetime supply of Avon products to help her mother achieve that goal, items she continues using today. Her mother distributed Avon Care Deeply chapstick to everyone—family members, neighbors, strangers at grocery stores—with the same generosity she showed through daily acts of community service.

Her mother died unexpectedly in spring 2006 from a stroke. When discovered, she had crawled into her closet and partially put on her favorite “pretty shoes,” an image that captured her lifelong love of elegant footwear. At the funeral, the family insisted the funeral director secure her heeled shoes to her feet by any means necessary, determined that she would be properly dressed for her final journey.

Standing at her mother’s casket before its closure, the daughter made an impulsive decision. She placed several tissues in one of her mother’s hands and an Avon chapstick in the other—the two items her mother had carried and distributed throughout her entire adult life. She closed her eyes, said a prayer, and signaled for the casket to be sealed.

During the drive to the cemetery along narrow country roads, the hearse suddenly braked hard. A car ran a stop sign, missing the hearse by inches, and the following vehicle containing the daughter came dangerously close behind. In that moment of shock and fear, an unwelcome thought struck: what if her mother’s chapstick had fallen from her hand, beyond her eternal reach? The irony was not lost on her—the possibility of tragedy during her mother’s funeral on the same road where she had experienced a life-threatening accident decades earlier.